OBAMANIA

THE DAILY KEENE 

Okay, I meant “Daily” in the sense of prepared during the daytime, not that I was going to actually produce one of these rants every day.

Yes, that was my daughter cavorting in Times Square Tuesday night, her face and arms covered with Obama stickers and tattoos, gracing the CNN screen.

I thought Sarah Palin was an inspired choice- for giving the keynote speech at the Republican Convention. She can rally and energize a crowd, and is a great campaigner.  I’m not sure what she was doing in the substantive vice-presidential role channeling Dan Quayle. McCain was in need of a Hail Mary, and Sarah was it.

The comparisons between the Barack Obama of four years ago and the Sarah Palin of today are striking. McCain’s choice of her was the equivalent of John Kerry deciding to select Obama as his running mate in 2004. A great convention speech only goes so far.

McCain himself has never appealed to the party base. His biggest bump in the polls by far occurred when he selected Palin and she wowed the convention.

John McCain was taught an important lesson in this campaign. The Washington-New York media will fawn all over you when you challenge George Bush and/or the Republican establishment. Once you become the candidate of that same establishment, however, you are very much expendable.

Now that the election is over, the Democrats have a green light to tax and dismantle 401K’s, increase the tax on capital gains, and allow the estate tax to spring back to life.  ACORN will take over the role of the League of Women Voters.

Image has won out over substance. Let the Cult of Obama begin.

DAVIDKEENE@DAVIDKEENE.NET                               

Is it fun living in a battleground state! One of the presidential candidates is here about every five minutes.

During the Democratic National Convention, my spouse and child made there way to a session unrelated to the Party hi-jinks where a number of the leading women in the Government appeared and spoke- including Hillary. The most interesting speaker turned out to be Nancy Pelosi.

Whenever Ms. Pelosi speaks, she is accompanied by several burly female body guards, who take up strategic positions around the podium. My family members soon discovered why.

As soon as Ms. Pelosi opens her mouth, that is the signal for a Code Pink activist in residence to begin rushing the stage shouting epithets about Pelosi having lied to them about the war or whatever. The body guards are familiar with the drill, and tackle the protestor as soon as she gets close to the stage/podium.

I gather that the scenario is repeated every time Ms. Pelosi is scheduled to speak. It may explain Pelosi’s tendency to go left on every issue. Certainly it has some influence on her.

DAVIDKEENE@DAVIDKEENE.NET                               

Okay, I was never very good with deadlines, but I think we are back on track now. I actually was called for jury duty.

OBAMA PULLING AWAY WITH DEAD VOTERS

A recent ACORN-Pew Family Trust poll shows some interesting demographics are afoot in the presidential race:  

While older Americans still prefer John McCain by a slight margin, Barack Obama appears to be running away with the votes of the recently deceased by a commanding 7 to 1 ratio. Obama is also piling up a huge lead among voters who have already submitted absentee ballots, but who plan to cast multiple votes. Homeless voters and felons favor Obama 98% to 2%.

 The Democratic candidate is drawing surprising support among professional athletes, in addition to his expected lead among rock stars and those employed in the music, and art industries.

 Obama is doing particularly well in the so-called battleground states, where registration is equal to, and in some cases surpassing, the total population of the states.

DAVIDKEENE@DAVIDKEENE.NET                               

THE DAILY KEENE

Thursday, October 9, 2008           v.1, No. 5

Meanderings from the worlds of politics, sport, visual arts and music.

"Ignorantia legis neminem excusat.”

Best student signs at the Auburn-Vanderbilt game:

“The Geeks shall inherit the turf.”

“Educated Students Pound Neanderthals.”

Best student sign at a football game, all-time:

The 1968 Rose Bowl between the Purdue (an engineering school) and the University of Southern California:

“Lubricate the Trojans.”

DAVIDKEENE@DAVIDKEENE.NET                               

 CORRECTED VERSION

Meanderings from the worlds of politics, sport, visual arts and music.

 DEBATABLE

ANNOUNCER: “Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Belmont University, and tonight’s presidential debate between Senator Barak Obama and Senator John McCain. And now, here is the moderator for tonight’s debate, Gangsta Records recording artist, Mr. Snoop Doggy Dog.”

SNOOP DOG: “Yooooo, whasssup?” {turns to candidates). “The first question is fo’ Senato’ McCain. Senato’ how long will troops have to stay in Iraq, and will mo’ troops be needed in Afghanistan?”

MCCAIN: “Thank you, Mr. Dog. May I just say how delighted I am to be-“

OBAMA: “Ahem-“

SNOOP DOG: “Yo, SHUT IT UP, WHITEBREAD! THE BROTHER GOT SOMETHIN’ TO SAY!”

OBAMA: Thank you Snoop. I merely wished to interject that what we need right now is CHANGE!

SNOOP DOG: (turning to audience) Y’ALL HEARD THE BROTHER! HE NEED’ CHANGE! DIG INTO YO’ POCKETS AND HAND OVER ANY CASH YOU GOT TO THE CRIPS AT THE END OF YO’ ROW! (brandishes hand gun at the audience).

SNOOP DOG: (turns to Obama) “This be chill, Brother?”

OBAMA: “Well, at my fundraisers we usually endeavor to attain larger contributions. But this works.”

(Suddenly a loud scream comes from the rafters. Sarah Palen, clad in a stars and stripes bikini and stiletto heels, swings down from the rafters on a rope, Laura Croft style, firing an assault rifle in random directions.)

PALEN: “Not so fast Dogsnoop! You big government types have been off ripping the people American for a time that is far too long, Oh-Bummer! There’s a new Sheriff Maverick in town, and the people of America are going to take it not more. The peoples are in a turmoil mass of-”

SNOOP DOG: (crouched with Obama behind podium) “What the hell is that cracker witch sayin’?”

PALEN: (lands on floor.) “Where are you, you miserable little- Hey, what’s this! The sky is fallin’!”

(Unimaginable amounts of paper start falling from the sky, quickly burying all the characters under tons of documents.)

(Snoop Dog and Obama dig out of the pile.)

SNOOP DOG: What the hell is all this paper crap?”

OBAMA: (Looks at document.) “They look like worthless, defaulted, sub-prime mortgages. (Turns to Snoop Dog.) But they saved our lives.”

DAVIDKEENE@DAVIDKEENE.NET                               

Meanderings from the worlds of politics, sport, visual arts and music.

 DEBATABLE

ANNOUNCER: “Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Belmont University, and tonight’s presidential debate between Senator Barak Obama and Senator John McCain. And now, here is the moderator for tonight’s debate, Gangsta Records recording artist, Mr. Snoop Doggy Dog.”

SNOOP DOG: “Yooooo, whasssup?” {turns to candidates). “The first question is fo’ Senato’ McCain. Senato’ how long will troops have to stay in Iraq, and will mo’ troops be needed in Afghanistan?”

MCCAIN: “Thank you, Mr. Dog. May I just say how delighted I am to be-“

OBAMA: “Ahem-“

SNOOP DOG: “Yo, SHUT IT UP, WHITEBREAD! THE BROTHER GOT SOMETHIN’ TO SAY!”

OBAMA: Thank you Snoop. I merely wished to interject that what we need right now is CHANGE!

SNOOP DOG: (turning to audience) Y’ALL HEARD THE BROTHER! HE NEED’ CHANGE! DIG INTO YO’ POCKETS AND HAND OVER ANY CASH YOU GOT TO THE CRIPS AT THE END OF YO’ ROW! (brandishes hand gun at the audience).

SNOOP DOG: (turns to Obama) “This be chill, Brother?”

OBAMA: “Well, at my fundraisers we usually endeavor to attain larger contributions. But this works.”

(Suddenly a loud scream comes from the rafters. Sarah Palen, clad in a stars and stripes bikini and stiletto heels, swings down from the rafters on a rope, Laura Croft style, firing an assault rifle in random directions.)

PALEN: “Not so fast Dogsnoop! You big government types have been off ripping the people American for a time that is far too long, Oh-Bummer! There’s a new Sheriff Maverick in town, and the people of America are going to take it not more. The peoples are in a turmoil mass of-   “

SNOOP DOG: (crouched with Obama behind podium) “What the hell is that cracker witch sayin’?”

PALEN: (lands on floor.) “Where are you, you miserable little- Hey, what’s this! The sky is fallin’!”

(Unimaginable amounts of paper star falling from the sky, quickly burying all the characters under tons of documents.)

(Snoop Dog and Obama dig out of the pile.)

SNOOP DOG: What the hell is all this paper crap?”

OBAMA: (Looks at document.) “The look like worthless, defaulted, sub-prime mortgages. (Turns to Snoop Dog.) “But they saved our lives.”

Coming Tuesday: A novice investor’s guide to trading futures on credit swaps

Today, dear reader, a note from the world of sport. I reference my beloved Vanderbilt University Commodore football program, which stands 4 and 0 for roughly the first time since Sparta knocked off Athens.

 In past seasons, the brave Commodore lads, who tended to be rather bookish and to affect the physique of Harry Potter,  were nonetheless clever and resourceful, and would give the competition a good go, so long as their glasses didn’t fog up in the end zone. Too often though, they would yield in the end to superior muscle.

 On the morrow, the Vandy squad is due to engage with the Auburn University Goliaths- a highly ranked bunch from the plains of South Alabam’ known more for brawn than subtlety. In fairness, Auburn recently achieved some academic notoriety by inking a new deal with Hooked on Phonics (as distinct from the University of Tennessee, where they “crayoned” a new deal). The contest will be televised around the world at 4 P.M. Mountain time.

 The Auburn offensive coordinator recently expressed some dismay with his cohort. This is a direct quote:

Franklin said the biggest problem was snap-count errors that have caused several false-start penalties. "We still struggle with the snap count," he said. "We only have one, so it shouldn't be that difficult to learn. But we struggle with it for some reason."

I have it on good authority that this edition of the Commodore side are tucking into their rations and are much stouter, and are willing to get down in the muck and mix it up with their adversaries. Apparently the lads are no longer required to dine in the University dining hall. Still, the massive Auburn side figures to have a tremendous weight advantage, and that’s just at the pre-game tailgating.  

 The Vandy eleven, burbling with confidence, will be lead to the gridiron by their coach, that hilarious fellow from the Disney pictures with the 12 or so children. I keep expecting him to jog to the sideline wearing an arrow through his head.

However, it is imperative that the boys have every advantage when they gird up for the contest. Thus, I dare to impose upon you, dear reader, for just a moment. If you would, right now, just place one hand on your computer/blackberry/iphone, and raise your other hand to the sky, and sing along with the following refrain:

Dynamite, Dynamite
When VANDY starts to fight.
Down the field with blood to yield,
If need be, save the shield.
If vict'ry's won, when battle's done,
Then VANDY's name will rise in fame.
But, Win or lose,
The Fates will choose,
And VANDY's game will be the same.
Dynamite, Dynamite
When VANDY starts to fight!
Fight!

Thank you.  

 Coming Monday: Rap Stars for Obama

DAVIDKEENE@DAVIDKEENE.NET                               

THE DAILY KEENE____________________________________

Thursday, October 2, 2008           v.1, No. 2

Meanderings from the worlds of politics, sport, visual arts and music.

“Taxation is the rule; tax exemption is the exception.”

--City of Chicago v. Illinois Department of Revenue, 147 Ill. 2d 484, 491 (1992).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“This is Sixty Minutes, and I’m Andy Rooney.

“I got a fund raising letter from-- some young woman-- yes, here it is Sarah Palin. That’s all the envelope says—no return address.  It’s like the Brasilian soccer players  with only one name. Here’s a nice picture of this girl with her father, I guess, some wrinkly old guy who looks vaguely familiar. I gather from her letter that she is standing for office- its somewhere here- yes, here it is, it says vice-president, but it doesn’t say vice president of what? Probably the Chamber of Commerce or something. Did you ever notice that these young whipper snappers just expect you to know all the details! Oh, I remember, she said something in here about a moose, so maybe it’s the Fraternal Order of large animals or something? Anyway, I’ll see if there’s something about her on the Huffington Post. This is Andy Rooney, saying good night.”

Coming Friday: Gridiron Grapplings.

DAVIDKEENE@DAVIDKEENE.NET                               

THE DAILY KEENE____________________________________

Wednesday, October 1, 2008           v.1, No. 1

Meanderings from the worlds of politics, sport, visual arts and music.

WORDS O’WISDOM

"Remember that very often when life seems to be falling apart, it may actually be falling together for the first time."

 LOWEST COMMON OBOMANATOR

…

As Oliver Hardy used to say, “this is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into.”

So, if I understand the situation correctly, George Soros and Pablo Escobar are going to pull their pesos out of the American economy and leave us high and illiquid (I know Pablo’s dead, but I mean drug cartels in general). There isn’t a prison nasty enough for the Wall Street savants, regulatory “watchdogs” and members of Congress who engineered this house of cards.

The Democrats, evincing a subtlety usually reserved for Orkin commercials concerning termites, are blaming it all on John McCain (wasn’t he that character played by Bruce Willis in all those action flicks?) I always get the Keating Five confused with the Dave Clark Five.

By the way, my credit union gave me some lame excuse today when I called up to extend my car loan, so I can use a few bucks.

On to the debate: On foreign affairs, McCain comes off like an irritable high school teacher lecturing a recalcitrant student. For his part, I thought Obama bought into McCain’s criticism more than he needed to, and played defense most of the night.  On the economy, it was clear that Obama knows how to connect with an audience. Unfortunately, there no longer appears to be an American economy to worry about.

…

Coming Thursday: Sarah Pale ’n’ Tall.