OBAMANIA

THE DAILY KEENE 

Okay, I meant “Daily” in the sense of prepared during the daytime, not that I was going to actually produce one of these rants every day.

Yes, that was my daughter cavorting in Times Square Tuesday night, her face and arms covered with Obama stickers and tattoos, gracing the CNN screen.

I thought Sarah Palin was an inspired choice- for giving the keynote speech at the Republican Convention. She can rally and energize a crowd, and is a great campaigner.  I’m not sure what she was doing in the substantive vice-presidential role channeling Dan Quayle. McCain was in need of a Hail Mary, and Sarah was it.

The comparisons between the Barack Obama of four years ago and the Sarah Palin of today are striking. McCain’s choice of her was the equivalent of John Kerry deciding to select Obama as his running mate in 2004. A great convention speech only goes so far.

McCain himself has never appealed to the party base. His biggest bump in the polls by far occurred when he selected Palin and she wowed the convention.

John McCain was taught an important lesson in this campaign. The Washington-New York media will fawn all over you when you challenge George Bush and/or the Republican establishment. Once you become the candidate of that same establishment, however, you are very much expendable.

Now that the election is over, the Democrats have a green light to tax and dismantle 401K’s, increase the tax on capital gains, and allow the estate tax to spring back to life.  ACORN will take over the role of the League of Women Voters.

Image has won out over substance. Let the Cult of Obama begin.

DAVIDKEENE@DAVIDKEENE.NET                               

Okay, I was never very good with deadlines, but I think we are back on track now. I actually was called for jury duty.

OBAMA PULLING AWAY WITH DEAD VOTERS

A recent ACORN-Pew Family Trust poll shows some interesting demographics are afoot in the presidential race:  

While older Americans still prefer John McCain by a slight margin, Barack Obama appears to be running away with the votes of the recently deceased by a commanding 7 to 1 ratio. Obama is also piling up a huge lead among voters who have already submitted absentee ballots, but who plan to cast multiple votes. Homeless voters and felons favor Obama 98% to 2%.

 The Democratic candidate is drawing surprising support among professional athletes, in addition to his expected lead among rock stars and those employed in the music, and art industries.

 Obama is doing particularly well in the so-called battleground states, where registration is equal to, and in some cases surpassing, the total population of the states.

DAVIDKEENE@DAVIDKEENE.NET                               

 CORRECTED VERSION

Meanderings from the worlds of politics, sport, visual arts and music.

 DEBATABLE

ANNOUNCER: “Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Belmont University, and tonight’s presidential debate between Senator Barak Obama and Senator John McCain. And now, here is the moderator for tonight’s debate, Gangsta Records recording artist, Mr. Snoop Doggy Dog.”

SNOOP DOG: “Yooooo, whasssup?” {turns to candidates). “The first question is fo’ Senato’ McCain. Senato’ how long will troops have to stay in Iraq, and will mo’ troops be needed in Afghanistan?”

MCCAIN: “Thank you, Mr. Dog. May I just say how delighted I am to be-“

OBAMA: “Ahem-“

SNOOP DOG: “Yo, SHUT IT UP, WHITEBREAD! THE BROTHER GOT SOMETHIN’ TO SAY!”

OBAMA: Thank you Snoop. I merely wished to interject that what we need right now is CHANGE!

SNOOP DOG: (turning to audience) Y’ALL HEARD THE BROTHER! HE NEED’ CHANGE! DIG INTO YO’ POCKETS AND HAND OVER ANY CASH YOU GOT TO THE CRIPS AT THE END OF YO’ ROW! (brandishes hand gun at the audience).

SNOOP DOG: (turns to Obama) “This be chill, Brother?”

OBAMA: “Well, at my fundraisers we usually endeavor to attain larger contributions. But this works.”

(Suddenly a loud scream comes from the rafters. Sarah Palen, clad in a stars and stripes bikini and stiletto heels, swings down from the rafters on a rope, Laura Croft style, firing an assault rifle in random directions.)

PALEN: “Not so fast Dogsnoop! You big government types have been off ripping the people American for a time that is far too long, Oh-Bummer! There’s a new Sheriff Maverick in town, and the people of America are going to take it not more. The peoples are in a turmoil mass of-”

SNOOP DOG: (crouched with Obama behind podium) “What the hell is that cracker witch sayin’?”

PALEN: (lands on floor.) “Where are you, you miserable little- Hey, what’s this! The sky is fallin’!”

(Unimaginable amounts of paper start falling from the sky, quickly burying all the characters under tons of documents.)

(Snoop Dog and Obama dig out of the pile.)

SNOOP DOG: What the hell is all this paper crap?”

OBAMA: (Looks at document.) “They look like worthless, defaulted, sub-prime mortgages. (Turns to Snoop Dog.) But they saved our lives.”