DAVIDKEENE@DAVIDKEENE.NET                               

 CORRECTED VERSION

Meanderings from the worlds of politics, sport, visual arts and music.

 DEBATABLE

ANNOUNCER: “Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Belmont University, and tonight’s presidential debate between Senator Barak Obama and Senator John McCain. And now, here is the moderator for tonight’s debate, Gangsta Records recording artist, Mr. Snoop Doggy Dog.”

SNOOP DOG: “Yooooo, whasssup?” {turns to candidates). “The first question is fo’ Senato’ McCain. Senato’ how long will troops have to stay in Iraq, and will mo’ troops be needed in Afghanistan?”

MCCAIN: “Thank you, Mr. Dog. May I just say how delighted I am to be-“

OBAMA: “Ahem-“

SNOOP DOG: “Yo, SHUT IT UP, WHITEBREAD! THE BROTHER GOT SOMETHIN’ TO SAY!”

OBAMA: Thank you Snoop. I merely wished to interject that what we need right now is CHANGE!

SNOOP DOG: (turning to audience) Y’ALL HEARD THE BROTHER! HE NEED’ CHANGE! DIG INTO YO’ POCKETS AND HAND OVER ANY CASH YOU GOT TO THE CRIPS AT THE END OF YO’ ROW! (brandishes hand gun at the audience).

SNOOP DOG: (turns to Obama) “This be chill, Brother?”

OBAMA: “Well, at my fundraisers we usually endeavor to attain larger contributions. But this works.”

(Suddenly a loud scream comes from the rafters. Sarah Palen, clad in a stars and stripes bikini and stiletto heels, swings down from the rafters on a rope, Laura Croft style, firing an assault rifle in random directions.)

PALEN: “Not so fast Dogsnoop! You big government types have been off ripping the people American for a time that is far too long, Oh-Bummer! There’s a new Sheriff Maverick in town, and the people of America are going to take it not more. The peoples are in a turmoil mass of-”

SNOOP DOG: (crouched with Obama behind podium) “What the hell is that cracker witch sayin’?”

PALEN: (lands on floor.) “Where are you, you miserable little- Hey, what’s this! The sky is fallin’!”

(Unimaginable amounts of paper start falling from the sky, quickly burying all the characters under tons of documents.)

(Snoop Dog and Obama dig out of the pile.)

SNOOP DOG: What the hell is all this paper crap?”

OBAMA: (Looks at document.) “They look like worthless, defaulted, sub-prime mortgages. (Turns to Snoop Dog.) But they saved our lives.”